Where the mind is full of fear and the head hangs low
Where rewards and praises are the things that blow
Saying yes is the only way out
For you are a team and the team is stout
Working, analysing and reporting is all you are expected to do.
Smile during travel and wrong you are proved
The ironed shirt and trouser you wear
Squeezes your life and makes it unfair
Your peers have build up huge castles which have no rooms to breathe
Your other friends laugh and cheer at your amazing feat
Ahh.. I want some space and more of time
Away from the time logs and managers whine
One day i'll be left with a heavy pocket and weak heart
That day when I breathe the last..
Corporate life you'd bring that moment fast...
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
A Corporate Slave
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
I am an engineer and not the one who got just a degree.
Of late, we have seen a huge demand for engineers which doesn't show any sign of a downfall, but this line has more meaning than it would seem otherwise. It means, our nation needs people to solve, organize and set right the growing technology and engineering systems. Hence it needs people who are capable of this and not just certified for this.
I have been having numerous pragmatic thoughts about the development of this nation. But everything we are doing right now doesnt seem directed towards our long term goal for development. I am making use of this article to show the real scenarios in the engineering industry, which I am sure appeals to any discipline.
The current state of education seem poignant. We are just trying to meet the demand by pumping in engineers out of an entity called Engineering Colleges which now seem like a manufacturing unit and not a value adding organisation. Its madness, and as rightly said, Madness is just like gravity, all you need is a little push.
The elite engineers of this country whose education were funded by the government, leave the country to make some quick money. This brings some inflow of cash to the country, no doubt, but if we look at a macro picture and ask ourselves as to what do we want: Quick money or a strong foundation that would make our country self sufficient. Should we be relying so much on foreign innovations and technological developments? Aren't we capable enough to help ourselves in these matters? Its a matter of shame that its six decades to our independence and we donot have expertise in any engineering discipline.
We have become a part of a vicious game called the race for money. Can this race for money ever take us to level of countries like Japan and Germany who sprung back due to their engineering prowess. The saying," to cut a tree in 8 hours, we should spend 7 hours in sharpening the axe" is worth pondering upon. These countries took their time and now they are reaping the fruits of their hardwork.
Its high time now and we should pull up our socks. If the current trend continues we would face real atrocities in future in terms of engineering solutions. So Indians, dont just pursue engineering, Be Engineers.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
Shadows...
I want to colour my life
brighten every moment and make it more vivid.
O for a boy in darkness.
Birds and butterflies I have heard of
Flowers and fruits I have smelled
Everything abstract like sorrow and happiness
Mother says be careful when I walk
The road on which I stand
I know not where its ends or starts
Teacher asked me to sharpen my senses
Senses so that I dont stretch my hand
Being independent in this world without colours
How many times I tried to think
That how my sweetheart looked
Looks ahh..!! Magical she sounds
The world where men fight
the fights which lead to blood...
I know not why you quarrel for thou know not pains
I am happy with this life
Sad that you call me blind
Its better not to have eyes coz I wont see fights
O For a boy in darkness..!!!
brighten every moment and make it more vivid.
O for a boy in darkness.
Birds and butterflies I have heard of
Flowers and fruits I have smelled
Everything abstract like sorrow and happiness
Mother says be careful when I walk
The road on which I stand
I know not where its ends or starts
Teacher asked me to sharpen my senses
Senses so that I dont stretch my hand
Being independent in this world without colours
How many times I tried to think
That how my sweetheart looked
Looks ahh..!! Magical she sounds
The world where men fight
the fights which lead to blood...
I know not why you quarrel for thou know not pains
I am happy with this life
Sad that you call me blind
Its better not to have eyes coz I wont see fights
O For a boy in darkness..!!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
BADLA...!!
"Wake up Sir, its 7am and you are still here", said Alya my secretary. "Ah...!Alya, good morning". Rubbing my eyes, I wake up. I check my cell phone and find 8 missed calls and a message. 8 missed calls is normal for the CEO of Nison Imaging Solutions. I usually dont get messages. I opened it to find a strange message...
"You once said, if at all you think of saboo, u'll think of us. Nish, have you ever thought of saboo in the last 2 decades?"
It was from an unknown number. I switched on my monitor and made a google search. It said the caller/user resides somewhere in Abu Dhabi. I never wanted to get back to my past because I was a loser then. I ignored the message.
It was 2 pm and I had just set out for lunch when I received an email. The email had the same content which was there in the message. But here I wanted to see who the sender was. The address said meow_1991@yahoo.com. Well meow..!! seems good coz that was the name of my Persian cat. I wondered who from saboo is trying to get in touch with me. The one who never ever replied or answered calls after leaving the insti. There were a zillion things in my mind about my firm which gave me very lil time to think about my insti. I was in my car driving back to my apt.(Canada). The roads were covered with snow and so the traffic was slow. My car was at a constant of 15mph(That’s normal in winters) when I heard a loud roar and thud. But I was busy enjoying the ARR numbers so I dint pay heed to it.
As I moved ahead the traffic came to a stand still. I kept on honking as my sweetheart and sweetie pie were waiting for me. I lowered my window and asked the cop in the booth. He said there’s an avalanche and the traffic wont move for another 8 hrs.
Holy crap..!! 8 hrs..!! I lowered my back rest, switched on the heater and there I lay in d car all lone(as always). My cells beeps. I check it, only to find a blank message from the same number. So I get back thinking about this meow. I try hard but in vain. Then an idea clicks. I log in facebook, the outdated site. I find about 44 friend requests, 80 messages and 99 notifs. I ignore all of them.
I go on checking my albums. I checked all my albums and pics I am tagged in. I was about to log out when I see a pic of a cat where I am tagged along wid mehvash sheikh n zaid sayed. I go to mehvash’s profile and everything becomes vivid and clear. Meow is mehvash sheikh my batchmate in MH Saboo Siddik COE. I pick my cell and with a little hesitation and dial her number. A man with a thick hindi accent picks up the phone. I ask for mehvash and he goes on doing things which I do as my job…interviewing..!!! Then finally as if I have cracked the quiz he hands over the fone to her. A soft voice says “hello..(a big pause)”…I say, “hii (in my changed accent)”
She says, “who is this??”.
I introduce my self and then I hear…”OMG OMG OMG…”
We talk for about an hour( I dunno what her hubby might have thought) then decide a reunion in Mumbai. We decide not to get out families. And then it begins….
***
I reach the Mumbai Airport, call up the tourism organization and book a room. I dump all my luggage and set out( ignoring the jet lag). The place where we are supposed to meet is Shalimaar ( I hardly remembered the name until she mailed me abt it.) I reach the hotel before everyone. I have a look at the hotel. Its now a 5 star restaurant. I give my name to the receptionist only to know that my table is already booked. I sit down to find 9 empty chairs around me. Shit..!! 9 seats, I hardly remember 6 names.
I wait and eventually everyone turn up. There are handshakes, puppies and jhappies. Tears, smiles and everything. People around me are MEOW, MARIAL, HAGGU, GHAJINI, BOMBER, DEVDAS, HAWASTHI, ADITH AND MERCHANT. Let me describe them one by one.
Mehvash Sheikh a.k.a MEOW. Shes in a pure white silk salwar with embroidery designs, I felt she was hiding something. Well, here weight had increased in four folds. A civil engg, married to a wealthy industrialist in Abu dhabi, a mother of three kids(5,8,15) and most importantly the editor of a magazine “young mind, young poet”
Shruti Vaghe a.k.a MARIAL dressed in perfect formals. Grey coat, trousers and a maroon purse. Less make-up but blackish lips coz for smoking. Again a civil engg, a divorcee, mother of a guy(10) and the MD of HDIL (Raipur).
Rafaa Dalvi a.k.a HAGGU wearing a black shirt wid light blue denim, flaunting a French beard. An Automotive engg, married to Naquiyah(our batch mate), a proud father of 2 guys (12,15), the team leader in RnD dept of AMW.
Praveen Menon a.k.a GHAJINI in complete formals. He was bald n had finished 2 cigars in about an hour, he had a thick moustache which he had dyed. An Automotive engg, did his masters from the US, married, had no children and was the head of production dept of BMW in the US.
Atul Kumar a.k.a HAWASTHI was in a black shirt n dark blue denim. He sported a sexy brown leather jacket. An Automotive engg., married, had a daughter(15) and worked with the Indian Defence Vehicles and Designing.
Abdul P a.k.a DEVDAS was in a simple white kurta. Had a beard which was not thick. Looked depressed. An Engg., Married, had no kids. He had his own vehicle showroom in Worli.
Burhan MP a.k.a BOMBER was dressed in the coolest way. Wore a dark green T wid khakee cargos. He had no facial hair. But even that looked cool. He managed his father’s business in Bangladesh and had a new branch at Surat. Filthy rich though….!!!
Adith Ajayan was in a tuxedo. Looked really rich, sported an tag heur watch etc. etc. He completed his Phd. in Auto. Engg from Germany and was currently teaching at the IIT.
Imran merchant had become really hairy, with a long beard but he was the same as he used to be in college…LOST..!! He was married and dint mention anything about his way of earning. I was sure he was into big business.
We all stared at each other as if we had a lot to say but nothing would come out.
MEOW: Guys say something. Isn’t it wonderful that we meeting after so long.? We got loads to catch up. Why are you guys behaving as if it was your worst decision to come here?
MARIAL: Exactly, kya prob hai tum logon ko?
IMRAN: Kuch nahi re we jus need an ice breaker.
RAFAA: Fuhget all that, lets order starters.
ME: Saale tu bhukkad hi rahega.
The waiter is called. Imran mumbles something into his ear and he sets off. He gets one of the best chicken tikkas ever. I was surprised to see Atul blindly eatin it.
ME: Oye hawasthi tu toh veggie tha na ?
ATUL : Ab mein tujhe bhi kha sakta hun ;)
Everyone enjoys that line and attack their chicken.
ADITH: Dude, did you see the latest V15 engine. Its practically noisefree. I wanna have my hands on it soon.
Everyone in disgust: Will u shut up?
ADITH:Ok Ok…u know what guys? Dese days students at IITs are nothing. We used to be better than them during our days.
BURHAN: Yeah, my neighbor’s son I dunno how he managed to get into the institute. He hardly knew math till the tenth grade. Some miracle maybe.
ADITH: Dude, ders lot of corruption at the IIT. I can manage a seat for anyone these days. It’ll hardly cost 100k.
PRAVEEN: Yeah, even I read it in the New York Times. The International ranking of the IIT has gone down to 400 from 150.
RAFAA: What about MU?
Everyone gets attentive to know more about MU
ADITH: Dude, MU is doing gud these days. We are ranked around 590 I guess.
ME: Matlab it has come up by 310. kya baat hai..!!!
ME: Who wants their kids to be engineers dese days? I’ll toh hand her over my entire firm. Let her enjoy her teenage. Get a bf ;) Unlike me.
MEOW: Dude you know what? You were a despo then. Kisi ko bhi nahi chodta tha.
RAFAA: Hehe.
I was thinking. Rafaa was a devil in college and hes still the same. Never supports me…:P
BURHAN: Shruti, u tell howz life goin? Howz your kid?
MARIAL: Hes just fine. I recently caught him with his gf in our bedroom. I gave him such a big lecture that woh bechara ab padhne laga hai.
ME: I shud tell him how you were during our college days.
There is a smirk on everyone’s face. Imran still busy with his chicken, tries to show us some modern art by arranging the chopsticks. No one but DEVDAS looks at his shitty piece of designing.
ATUL: Toh saalo, kya plan hai?
Suddenly ADITH’s cell rings.
ADITH: Yes sir. Yes sir. Main parso viva le lunga. Sure sir. I know SOM mein pass karana hai but i’ll see.
ME: Guys anyone remembers SOM here?
Everyone look at me as if I have asked them to divide a number by zero.
ATUL: Tu jaa re. Tujhe kya lagta hai... only you studied that fucked-up subject?. Its Study of materials.
BURHAN n ABDUL: Wahi toh.
ME: (confused) yeah even I think so.
PRVEEN: *h*n*c*o* tum log sab ghanta enggs. ho.
Its Strength of materials.
SHRUTI AND MEHVASH: W/e
We all had a tummy full and went on chatting.
Mehvash opens up. First there are tears in her eyes which is taken care of by marial.
I was forcefully married to this guy at Abu Dhabi. My father thought 26yrs was too old. So as soon as they got a nice proposal they married me off. I thought I need to pay heed to what they say. So I blindly went with their decision. I thought hes a nice guy. We had such a nice time together. He encouraged my poems which is one reason why I am famous. I dint want many kids but he was adamant in this case. I tried to give him things which he wanted. I usually don’t doubt him even though he comes home late. He never drinks or smokes. Last month I came to Mumbai to meet my mother for eid. As usual I left within 3 days. I went home to find it locked from inside. I had my keys. I opened the door and went to our bedroom on the third floor. I could hear noises. I actually saw him doing things a married man should not do with other women. I was heartbroken. I wanna leave him but what about my three kids? No one will be ready to accept me with my kids. People who promised neva eva came back. I found Shruti now. Even she was busy then. Nishith and Rafaa never used to call. I was all alone.
She started weeping. Everyone in the restaurant started staring at us. We dint give a damn.
We all started to pacify her. And finally knowing that we all are back she stopped crying.
I told her to dump her husband. But then she dint have the courage to do so. So we all sat quietly for sometime.
Then Atul yells again. “Saale hum log yahan kya karne aaye? What are you guys upto?”
Adith yells, “REVENGE…!!!”
PRAVEEN: What revenge? Whom do you wanna hit? Tell me m strong enuf to knock any person down :P
IMRAN: What Adith?
ADITH: U remember a prof who gave arbaaz a KT in vivas?
ME: Who is arbaaz?
Everyone look at me as if they are gonna kill me any moment.
ATUL: yeah who can fuhget him. The Big Ass Seeker.
ME: hehe B.A.S.
Everyone chuckles on hearing the short form
ADITH: Guys you know what ? BAS’s son is in my insti.
ME: He got into the IIT?
BOMBER: Adith, tune jhol kiya tha kya?
IMRAN: puzzled…jhol matlab?
ABDUL: Shut up bro.
ADITH: He got his vivas day after tomorrow. N guess what? I am the one whose gonna take it…waat lagani hai?
ALL: ihahahahaha…!!!
ADITH: Till when are you guys here?
We all were in Mumbai for more than a week. So everything was going smooth.
ME: Are guest lecturers allowed as externals at IIT?
ADITH: You got my point bro. 4 externals are allowed.
Praveen, Rafaa, Me and Imran look at each other.
Imran: I am gonna fuck him tomorrow..!!
ME: Ok who pays now.
Everyone except Rafaa and Imran put their credit cards ahead.
ME: Tum dono toh kanjus hi rahoge
IMRAN: mein kanjuus nahi
ME: Y?
IMRAN: I own this hotel.
Everyone goes WOW..!!
***
It was Day 2. All of us were again comfortable with each other.
Abdul speaks up.
Guys you know y m sad.? My wife is cheating on me. I taped her making out with my neighbour. I just wanna break off form the relation but m nt finding a way to catch her red handed. I just wanna let-go off her. I have enough wealth to sustain a big family but I am not goin for kids as I’ll have to touch that bitch. I just need one reason to ask her to fuck off one moment of luck. Can you guys help me?
Everyone had the answer in their mind but no one dared to speak. Finally shruti opened her mouth.
Guys whats wrong with you all? Cant you see the obvious? Or you people are the same when it comes to a relation? Dude(pointing at abdul) you like her na? you were so much into this relation…y did u idiots break up?
ABDUL: Her dad married her off….what could I do?
SHRUTI: OK. U could not do it then. But you can do it now. Are you ready to take meow with you along with her kids?
ABDUL: Thinking……yeah I can.(smiling at meow)
Meow blushes…...
PRAVEEN:Its not done guys. We aint teenagers now. We want a formal proposal right now.
EVERYONE: Abdul...abdul..abdul
Abdul gets up with a little reluctance and goes towards Meow's chair.
He bends down...removes his bracelet...he takes her hand( the way I take my daughters hand).
ABDUL: I know its really long now but the light is still there in my heart. It might have diminished a little but you know you can make it glow again. Will you marry me Sweetheart?
MEOW:(Tears in her eye) I liked you then but now i really love you.
Abdul puts his bracelet around her wrist.
Meow in tears...:Love you baby
ABDUL: Me 2.
ABDUL goes and hugs her and before they get carried away shruti pulls meow with an excuse that she has to go to the washroom. We all hug abdul one by one.
IMRAN: Waiter, sabke liye thanda lana..!!
***
ME: What is his sons name?
ADITH: we call him SE. Stupid Engineer.(chuckles)
SE: Good morning sir.
WE: You may have your seat.
Praveen: What did you get for practicals?
SE: Impact test sir.
ADITH: Kitna padha hai?
SE: Puura portion.
We are shocked.
Praveen: Give me the definition of impact, impulse and inertia
He mumbles some bookish definition and I start clapping.
ME: yeh tujhe kisne bataya? Aint der any difference between impact and impulse?
SE: No sir..
ME: English padha hai na, Spelling toh alag hai. Idiot.
SE smiles at us.
IMRAN: You wanna smile haan. Quickly draw me the SFD and BMD for this loading. I can give you maximum 15 sec.
SE: scribbles something. Done Sir.
ME: (secretly asking adith) Sahi hai kya?
ADITH: winks at me.
Praveen: Kaun sikhata hai tumhe yeh kachra?
SE: Dad.
ME: call him up right now. Tell him we wanna meet him
SE: he is already there outside this class. He is waiting for me. We are planning to go to the Water Park now.
ME: M gonna use your tears to fill the pool, boy.
SE: chod do na sir…I know everything.
PRAVEEN: I hope you know things more than me.
Praveen then bombards him with terms he(SE) has hardly heard off. Questions one after the other for more than 30 mins. Practically it was all French for me. But still I was supporting him(Praveen) coz we were here for the same cause.
PRAVEEN: I’ll ask you one jackpot question. If you answer this you are passing else I’ll question you for more 30 mins.
SE: Ok ( tired and losing confidence)
PRAVEEN: What is a Mohr circle?
SE answers it correctly. And I playfully mock him sayin its wrong.
SE starts crying.
ADITH: You may leave. I am giving you only 9/25. I wanna meet you dad.
We all went out of the class room and met him. The guy who screwed his students to the core. BAS stood there. His hair were all gray but he was there.
His son went and hugged him and started to cry.
BAS: What happened beta? How was it?
ADITH: you remember us sir? Your class of 2013?
BAS remembered our names. We were shocked.
PRAVEEN: Jo tu mere doston ke saath karta tha. Who mein aaj tere bete ke saath kiya.
BAS: Unnikrishnan ..!! what non sense is this?
ME: Exactly sir, you did this non sense 20 years ago. And we are showing you some replay.
IMRAN: You know what sir. I had kept this thing too long in my heart. Will you please fuck off.?
BAS: I’ll complain to the dean at IIT.
ME: Fuck him too…:P
Praveen: Ja *a*d m*r*. I am gonna screw your kid.
Rafaa was silent till then.
BAS: you dare touch him and cause him any harm.
RAFAA: Alright guys, yeh ladke ko chod, iski maar.
He kicked BAS hard on his nuts. He fell down. He cried in pain. We were shocked. I made a go. But BAS pulled us to the nearby police station. The inspector was about to file a case against us. But Rafaa already had backup. Atul barged in the police station.
ATUL: Champu, rahu de re…te maje sobat aahe.
The inspector left us without saying a word. BAS was shocked.
ME: I love India.
Praveen to BAS: Fuck off you lil piece of shit.
And we all left the place.
***
Though time made a lot of changes in our personas but the love is still alive….
"You once said, if at all you think of saboo, u'll think of us. Nish, have you ever thought of saboo in the last 2 decades?"
It was from an unknown number. I switched on my monitor and made a google search. It said the caller/user resides somewhere in Abu Dhabi. I never wanted to get back to my past because I was a loser then. I ignored the message.
It was 2 pm and I had just set out for lunch when I received an email. The email had the same content which was there in the message. But here I wanted to see who the sender was. The address said meow_1991@yahoo.com. Well meow..!! seems good coz that was the name of my Persian cat. I wondered who from saboo is trying to get in touch with me. The one who never ever replied or answered calls after leaving the insti. There were a zillion things in my mind about my firm which gave me very lil time to think about my insti. I was in my car driving back to my apt.(Canada). The roads were covered with snow and so the traffic was slow. My car was at a constant of 15mph(That’s normal in winters) when I heard a loud roar and thud. But I was busy enjoying the ARR numbers so I dint pay heed to it.
As I moved ahead the traffic came to a stand still. I kept on honking as my sweetheart and sweetie pie were waiting for me. I lowered my window and asked the cop in the booth. He said there’s an avalanche and the traffic wont move for another 8 hrs.
Holy crap..!! 8 hrs..!! I lowered my back rest, switched on the heater and there I lay in d car all lone(as always). My cells beeps. I check it, only to find a blank message from the same number. So I get back thinking about this meow. I try hard but in vain. Then an idea clicks. I log in facebook, the outdated site. I find about 44 friend requests, 80 messages and 99 notifs. I ignore all of them.
I go on checking my albums. I checked all my albums and pics I am tagged in. I was about to log out when I see a pic of a cat where I am tagged along wid mehvash sheikh n zaid sayed. I go to mehvash’s profile and everything becomes vivid and clear. Meow is mehvash sheikh my batchmate in MH Saboo Siddik COE. I pick my cell and with a little hesitation and dial her number. A man with a thick hindi accent picks up the phone. I ask for mehvash and he goes on doing things which I do as my job…interviewing..!!! Then finally as if I have cracked the quiz he hands over the fone to her. A soft voice says “hello..(a big pause)”…I say, “hii (in my changed accent)”
She says, “who is this??”.
I introduce my self and then I hear…”OMG OMG OMG…”
We talk for about an hour( I dunno what her hubby might have thought) then decide a reunion in Mumbai. We decide not to get out families. And then it begins….
***
I reach the Mumbai Airport, call up the tourism organization and book a room. I dump all my luggage and set out( ignoring the jet lag). The place where we are supposed to meet is Shalimaar ( I hardly remembered the name until she mailed me abt it.) I reach the hotel before everyone. I have a look at the hotel. Its now a 5 star restaurant. I give my name to the receptionist only to know that my table is already booked. I sit down to find 9 empty chairs around me. Shit..!! 9 seats, I hardly remember 6 names.
I wait and eventually everyone turn up. There are handshakes, puppies and jhappies. Tears, smiles and everything. People around me are MEOW, MARIAL, HAGGU, GHAJINI, BOMBER, DEVDAS, HAWASTHI, ADITH AND MERCHANT. Let me describe them one by one.
Mehvash Sheikh a.k.a MEOW. Shes in a pure white silk salwar with embroidery designs, I felt she was hiding something. Well, here weight had increased in four folds. A civil engg, married to a wealthy industrialist in Abu dhabi, a mother of three kids(5,8,15) and most importantly the editor of a magazine “young mind, young poet”
Shruti Vaghe a.k.a MARIAL dressed in perfect formals. Grey coat, trousers and a maroon purse. Less make-up but blackish lips coz for smoking. Again a civil engg, a divorcee, mother of a guy(10) and the MD of HDIL (Raipur).
Rafaa Dalvi a.k.a HAGGU wearing a black shirt wid light blue denim, flaunting a French beard. An Automotive engg, married to Naquiyah(our batch mate), a proud father of 2 guys (12,15), the team leader in RnD dept of AMW.
Praveen Menon a.k.a GHAJINI in complete formals. He was bald n had finished 2 cigars in about an hour, he had a thick moustache which he had dyed. An Automotive engg, did his masters from the US, married, had no children and was the head of production dept of BMW in the US.
Atul Kumar a.k.a HAWASTHI was in a black shirt n dark blue denim. He sported a sexy brown leather jacket. An Automotive engg., married, had a daughter(15) and worked with the Indian Defence Vehicles and Designing.
Abdul P a.k.a DEVDAS was in a simple white kurta. Had a beard which was not thick. Looked depressed. An Engg., Married, had no kids. He had his own vehicle showroom in Worli.
Burhan MP a.k.a BOMBER was dressed in the coolest way. Wore a dark green T wid khakee cargos. He had no facial hair. But even that looked cool. He managed his father’s business in Bangladesh and had a new branch at Surat. Filthy rich though….!!!
Adith Ajayan was in a tuxedo. Looked really rich, sported an tag heur watch etc. etc. He completed his Phd. in Auto. Engg from Germany and was currently teaching at the IIT.
Imran merchant had become really hairy, with a long beard but he was the same as he used to be in college…LOST..!! He was married and dint mention anything about his way of earning. I was sure he was into big business.
We all stared at each other as if we had a lot to say but nothing would come out.
MEOW: Guys say something. Isn’t it wonderful that we meeting after so long.? We got loads to catch up. Why are you guys behaving as if it was your worst decision to come here?
MARIAL: Exactly, kya prob hai tum logon ko?
IMRAN: Kuch nahi re we jus need an ice breaker.
RAFAA: Fuhget all that, lets order starters.
ME: Saale tu bhukkad hi rahega.
The waiter is called. Imran mumbles something into his ear and he sets off. He gets one of the best chicken tikkas ever. I was surprised to see Atul blindly eatin it.
ME: Oye hawasthi tu toh veggie tha na ?
ATUL : Ab mein tujhe bhi kha sakta hun ;)
Everyone enjoys that line and attack their chicken.
ADITH: Dude, did you see the latest V15 engine. Its practically noisefree. I wanna have my hands on it soon.
Everyone in disgust: Will u shut up?
ADITH:Ok Ok…u know what guys? Dese days students at IITs are nothing. We used to be better than them during our days.
BURHAN: Yeah, my neighbor’s son I dunno how he managed to get into the institute. He hardly knew math till the tenth grade. Some miracle maybe.
ADITH: Dude, ders lot of corruption at the IIT. I can manage a seat for anyone these days. It’ll hardly cost 100k.
PRAVEEN: Yeah, even I read it in the New York Times. The International ranking of the IIT has gone down to 400 from 150.
RAFAA: What about MU?
Everyone gets attentive to know more about MU
ADITH: Dude, MU is doing gud these days. We are ranked around 590 I guess.
ME: Matlab it has come up by 310. kya baat hai..!!!
ME: Who wants their kids to be engineers dese days? I’ll toh hand her over my entire firm. Let her enjoy her teenage. Get a bf ;) Unlike me.
MEOW: Dude you know what? You were a despo then. Kisi ko bhi nahi chodta tha.
RAFAA: Hehe.
I was thinking. Rafaa was a devil in college and hes still the same. Never supports me…:P
BURHAN: Shruti, u tell howz life goin? Howz your kid?
MARIAL: Hes just fine. I recently caught him with his gf in our bedroom. I gave him such a big lecture that woh bechara ab padhne laga hai.
ME: I shud tell him how you were during our college days.
There is a smirk on everyone’s face. Imran still busy with his chicken, tries to show us some modern art by arranging the chopsticks. No one but DEVDAS looks at his shitty piece of designing.
ATUL: Toh saalo, kya plan hai?
Suddenly ADITH’s cell rings.
ADITH: Yes sir. Yes sir. Main parso viva le lunga. Sure sir. I know SOM mein pass karana hai but i’ll see.
ME: Guys anyone remembers SOM here?
Everyone look at me as if I have asked them to divide a number by zero.
ATUL: Tu jaa re. Tujhe kya lagta hai... only you studied that fucked-up subject?. Its Study of materials.
BURHAN n ABDUL: Wahi toh.
ME: (confused) yeah even I think so.
PRVEEN: *h*n*c*o* tum log sab ghanta enggs. ho.
Its Strength of materials.
SHRUTI AND MEHVASH: W/e
We all had a tummy full and went on chatting.
Mehvash opens up. First there are tears in her eyes which is taken care of by marial.
I was forcefully married to this guy at Abu Dhabi. My father thought 26yrs was too old. So as soon as they got a nice proposal they married me off. I thought I need to pay heed to what they say. So I blindly went with their decision. I thought hes a nice guy. We had such a nice time together. He encouraged my poems which is one reason why I am famous. I dint want many kids but he was adamant in this case. I tried to give him things which he wanted. I usually don’t doubt him even though he comes home late. He never drinks or smokes. Last month I came to Mumbai to meet my mother for eid. As usual I left within 3 days. I went home to find it locked from inside. I had my keys. I opened the door and went to our bedroom on the third floor. I could hear noises. I actually saw him doing things a married man should not do with other women. I was heartbroken. I wanna leave him but what about my three kids? No one will be ready to accept me with my kids. People who promised neva eva came back. I found Shruti now. Even she was busy then. Nishith and Rafaa never used to call. I was all alone.
She started weeping. Everyone in the restaurant started staring at us. We dint give a damn.
We all started to pacify her. And finally knowing that we all are back she stopped crying.
I told her to dump her husband. But then she dint have the courage to do so. So we all sat quietly for sometime.
Then Atul yells again. “Saale hum log yahan kya karne aaye? What are you guys upto?”
Adith yells, “REVENGE…!!!”
PRAVEEN: What revenge? Whom do you wanna hit? Tell me m strong enuf to knock any person down :P
IMRAN: What Adith?
ADITH: U remember a prof who gave arbaaz a KT in vivas?
ME: Who is arbaaz?
Everyone look at me as if they are gonna kill me any moment.
ATUL: yeah who can fuhget him. The Big Ass Seeker.
ME: hehe B.A.S.
Everyone chuckles on hearing the short form
ADITH: Guys you know what ? BAS’s son is in my insti.
ME: He got into the IIT?
BOMBER: Adith, tune jhol kiya tha kya?
IMRAN: puzzled…jhol matlab?
ABDUL: Shut up bro.
ADITH: He got his vivas day after tomorrow. N guess what? I am the one whose gonna take it…waat lagani hai?
ALL: ihahahahaha…!!!
ADITH: Till when are you guys here?
We all were in Mumbai for more than a week. So everything was going smooth.
ME: Are guest lecturers allowed as externals at IIT?
ADITH: You got my point bro. 4 externals are allowed.
Praveen, Rafaa, Me and Imran look at each other.
Imran: I am gonna fuck him tomorrow..!!
ME: Ok who pays now.
Everyone except Rafaa and Imran put their credit cards ahead.
ME: Tum dono toh kanjus hi rahoge
IMRAN: mein kanjuus nahi
ME: Y?
IMRAN: I own this hotel.
Everyone goes WOW..!!
***
It was Day 2. All of us were again comfortable with each other.
Abdul speaks up.
Guys you know y m sad.? My wife is cheating on me. I taped her making out with my neighbour. I just wanna break off form the relation but m nt finding a way to catch her red handed. I just wanna let-go off her. I have enough wealth to sustain a big family but I am not goin for kids as I’ll have to touch that bitch. I just need one reason to ask her to fuck off one moment of luck. Can you guys help me?
Everyone had the answer in their mind but no one dared to speak. Finally shruti opened her mouth.
Guys whats wrong with you all? Cant you see the obvious? Or you people are the same when it comes to a relation? Dude(pointing at abdul) you like her na? you were so much into this relation…y did u idiots break up?
ABDUL: Her dad married her off….what could I do?
SHRUTI: OK. U could not do it then. But you can do it now. Are you ready to take meow with you along with her kids?
ABDUL: Thinking……yeah I can.(smiling at meow)
Meow blushes…...
PRAVEEN:Its not done guys. We aint teenagers now. We want a formal proposal right now.
EVERYONE: Abdul...abdul..abdul
Abdul gets up with a little reluctance and goes towards Meow's chair.
He bends down...removes his bracelet...he takes her hand( the way I take my daughters hand).
ABDUL: I know its really long now but the light is still there in my heart. It might have diminished a little but you know you can make it glow again. Will you marry me Sweetheart?
MEOW:(Tears in her eye) I liked you then but now i really love you.
Abdul puts his bracelet around her wrist.
Meow in tears...:Love you baby
ABDUL: Me 2.
ABDUL goes and hugs her and before they get carried away shruti pulls meow with an excuse that she has to go to the washroom. We all hug abdul one by one.
IMRAN: Waiter, sabke liye thanda lana..!!
***
ME: What is his sons name?
ADITH: we call him SE. Stupid Engineer.(chuckles)
SE: Good morning sir.
WE: You may have your seat.
Praveen: What did you get for practicals?
SE: Impact test sir.
ADITH: Kitna padha hai?
SE: Puura portion.
We are shocked.
Praveen: Give me the definition of impact, impulse and inertia
He mumbles some bookish definition and I start clapping.
ME: yeh tujhe kisne bataya? Aint der any difference between impact and impulse?
SE: No sir..
ME: English padha hai na, Spelling toh alag hai. Idiot.
SE smiles at us.
IMRAN: You wanna smile haan. Quickly draw me the SFD and BMD for this loading. I can give you maximum 15 sec.
SE: scribbles something. Done Sir.
ME: (secretly asking adith) Sahi hai kya?
ADITH: winks at me.
Praveen: Kaun sikhata hai tumhe yeh kachra?
SE: Dad.
ME: call him up right now. Tell him we wanna meet him
SE: he is already there outside this class. He is waiting for me. We are planning to go to the Water Park now.
ME: M gonna use your tears to fill the pool, boy.
SE: chod do na sir…I know everything.
PRAVEEN: I hope you know things more than me.
Praveen then bombards him with terms he(SE) has hardly heard off. Questions one after the other for more than 30 mins. Practically it was all French for me. But still I was supporting him(Praveen) coz we were here for the same cause.
PRAVEEN: I’ll ask you one jackpot question. If you answer this you are passing else I’ll question you for more 30 mins.
SE: Ok ( tired and losing confidence)
PRAVEEN: What is a Mohr circle?
SE answers it correctly. And I playfully mock him sayin its wrong.
SE starts crying.
ADITH: You may leave. I am giving you only 9/25. I wanna meet you dad.
We all went out of the class room and met him. The guy who screwed his students to the core. BAS stood there. His hair were all gray but he was there.
His son went and hugged him and started to cry.
BAS: What happened beta? How was it?
ADITH: you remember us sir? Your class of 2013?
BAS remembered our names. We were shocked.
PRAVEEN: Jo tu mere doston ke saath karta tha. Who mein aaj tere bete ke saath kiya.
BAS: Unnikrishnan ..!! what non sense is this?
ME: Exactly sir, you did this non sense 20 years ago. And we are showing you some replay.
IMRAN: You know what sir. I had kept this thing too long in my heart. Will you please fuck off.?
BAS: I’ll complain to the dean at IIT.
ME: Fuck him too…:P
Praveen: Ja *a*d m*r*. I am gonna screw your kid.
Rafaa was silent till then.
BAS: you dare touch him and cause him any harm.
RAFAA: Alright guys, yeh ladke ko chod, iski maar.
He kicked BAS hard on his nuts. He fell down. He cried in pain. We were shocked. I made a go. But BAS pulled us to the nearby police station. The inspector was about to file a case against us. But Rafaa already had backup. Atul barged in the police station.
ATUL: Champu, rahu de re…te maje sobat aahe.
The inspector left us without saying a word. BAS was shocked.
ME: I love India.
Praveen to BAS: Fuck off you lil piece of shit.
And we all left the place.
***
Though time made a lot of changes in our personas but the love is still alive….
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Searching The Divine Providence
Starts as a cell, ends as mud
Thats how life is, as little as a bud
We think of our pasts and so did our dads
To figure out where we are n how we fared
Some believe that its HE who made us
A few think its nothing but ruckus
I tried to think, to see HIM
Searching for HIM even when the chances were dim
Some say, pray and he'll answer you
I dint that for 19 years, my effort flew
They say everything around you is HIM
Others say no matter how much u try, you wont win
The man who once couldn't make a cart is now taming the wind
Ones who were in the dark now have lights in their hand
Every gen is getting closer and closer to the answer
Some are almost there but they are fewer
HE is cunning to give us this short life
Which is very little as compared to this huge strife
HE knew that we would crack it someday
So he created this so called delay
I know, one fine day with him we'll have our tea time to spend
But oh no, now as he knows my plan the world will end.
Thats how life is, as little as a bud
We think of our pasts and so did our dads
To figure out where we are n how we fared
Some believe that its HE who made us
A few think its nothing but ruckus
I tried to think, to see HIM
Searching for HIM even when the chances were dim
Some say, pray and he'll answer you
I dint that for 19 years, my effort flew
They say everything around you is HIM
Others say no matter how much u try, you wont win
The man who once couldn't make a cart is now taming the wind
Ones who were in the dark now have lights in their hand
Every gen is getting closer and closer to the answer
Some are almost there but they are fewer
HE is cunning to give us this short life
Which is very little as compared to this huge strife
HE knew that we would crack it someday
So he created this so called delay
I know, one fine day with him we'll have our tea time to spend
But oh no, now as he knows my plan the world will end.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Gap of three decades
Why are you always on your phone?
Why are you always online?
Why dont you do some household chore?
Why do you make your face sore?
O for the life of a teenager
Why do you give your friends so much time?
Why do u text when you dine?
Why dont your shoes shine?
Why dont you shave?
O for the life of a teenager
Where did you spend the dime?
Whose that friend you call "divine"?
Why so fast, do you drive?
Why are you always late?
O for the life of a teenager
Why do you keep scanning the channels with the remote?
I think you had a smoke
Try to be moral and not a menace
I trust you but not your age
O for the life of a teenager
DAD, you think a lot about me
This is nothing but difference of age
I think you should give me some space
Come what may, I am ready to face
O for the life of a teenager.....
Why are you always online?
Why dont you do some household chore?
Why do you make your face sore?
O for the life of a teenager
Why do you give your friends so much time?
Why do u text when you dine?
Why dont your shoes shine?
Why dont you shave?
O for the life of a teenager
Where did you spend the dime?
Whose that friend you call "divine"?
Why so fast, do you drive?
Why are you always late?
O for the life of a teenager
Why do you keep scanning the channels with the remote?
I think you had a smoke
Try to be moral and not a menace
I trust you but not your age
O for the life of a teenager
DAD, you think a lot about me
This is nothing but difference of age
I think you should give me some space
Come what may, I am ready to face
O for the life of a teenager.....
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